That was quite good bc ... I watched it and a few more after it ... probably why I didn't comment.
I have a friend who sends me stupid things some times ... this came today ...
"BRITISH NEWSPAPERS
Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, 'We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house.'
(The Daily Telegraph)
Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole salami in her underwear. When asked why, she said it was because she was missing her Italian boyfriend.
(The Manchester Evening News)
Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like.
(The Guardian)
A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast guard spokesman commented, 'This sort of thing is all too common'.
(The Times)
At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coast guard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff.
( Aberdeen Evening Express)
Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue , Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled -
'He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out 'Heil Hitler.''
( Bournemouth Evening Echo)
HEARD ON THE LONDON UNDERGOUND TUBE
A list of actual announcements that London Tube train drivers have made to their passengers...
1) 'Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologize for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction.'
2) 'Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from E & B syndrome: not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any.'
3) 'Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. The bad news is that there is a points failure somewhere between Stratford and East Ham, which means we probably won't reach our destination.'
4) 'Ladies and gentlemen, we apologise for the delay, but there is a security alert at Victoria station and we are therefore stuck here for the foreseeable future, so let's take our minds off it and pass some time together. All together now.... 'Ten green bottles, hanging on a wall.....'.'
5) 'We are now travelling through Baker Street ... As you can see, Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could tell you earlier, but no, they don't think about things like that'.
6) 'Beggars are operating on this train. Please do NOT encourage these professional beggars. If you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity. Failing that, give it to me.'
7) During an extremely hot rush hour on the Central Line, the driver announced in a West Indian drawl: 'Step right this way for the sauna, ladies and gentleman... Unfortunately, towels are not provided.'
'Let the passengers off the train FIRST!' (Pause ) 'Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care - I'm going home....'
9) 'Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with 'Please hold the doors open.' The two are distinct and separate instructions.'
10) 'Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors.'
11) 'We can't move off because some idiot has their hand stuck in the door.'
12) 'To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage -- what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand?'
13) 'Please move all baggage away from the doors.' (Pause..) 'Please move ALL belongings away from the doors.' (Pause...) 'This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train: Put the pie down, Four-eyes, and move your bloody golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your rear end sideways!'
14) 'May I remind all passengers that there is strictly no smoking allowed on any part of the Underground. However, if you are smoking a joint, it's only fair that you pass it round the rest of the carriage.' "
I have a friend who sends me stupid things some times ... this came today ...
"BRITISH NEWSPAPERS
Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, 'We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house.'
(The Daily Telegraph)
Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole salami in her underwear. When asked why, she said it was because she was missing her Italian boyfriend.
(The Manchester Evening News)
Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like.
(The Guardian)
A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast guard spokesman commented, 'This sort of thing is all too common'.
(The Times)
At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coast guard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff.
( Aberdeen Evening Express)
Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue , Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled -
'He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out 'Heil Hitler.''
( Bournemouth Evening Echo)
HEARD ON THE LONDON UNDERGOUND TUBE
A list of actual announcements that London Tube train drivers have made to their passengers...
1) 'Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologize for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction.'
2) 'Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from E & B syndrome: not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any.'
3) 'Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. The bad news is that there is a points failure somewhere between Stratford and East Ham, which means we probably won't reach our destination.'
4) 'Ladies and gentlemen, we apologise for the delay, but there is a security alert at Victoria station and we are therefore stuck here for the foreseeable future, so let's take our minds off it and pass some time together. All together now.... 'Ten green bottles, hanging on a wall.....'.'
5) 'We are now travelling through Baker Street ... As you can see, Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could tell you earlier, but no, they don't think about things like that'.
6) 'Beggars are operating on this train. Please do NOT encourage these professional beggars. If you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity. Failing that, give it to me.'
7) During an extremely hot rush hour on the Central Line, the driver announced in a West Indian drawl: 'Step right this way for the sauna, ladies and gentleman... Unfortunately, towels are not provided.'
'Let the passengers off the train FIRST!' (Pause ) 'Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care - I'm going home....'9) 'Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with 'Please hold the doors open.' The two are distinct and separate instructions.'
10) 'Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors.'
11) 'We can't move off because some idiot has their hand stuck in the door.'
12) 'To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage -- what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand?'
13) 'Please move all baggage away from the doors.' (Pause..) 'Please move ALL belongings away from the doors.' (Pause...) 'This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train: Put the pie down, Four-eyes, and move your bloody golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your rear end sideways!'
14) 'May I remind all passengers that there is strictly no smoking allowed on any part of the Underground. However, if you are smoking a joint, it's only fair that you pass it round the rest of the carriage.' "
kings wrote…
OK .... this is also VERY funny .... very different ..... comes up in the list when the top video finishes :
:evil:
This particular point reminds me of something from my student days ... I had a friend, we were good friends, he had a cat called Nonsense and I had a cat called Nothing ... ! 
I suppose the emotion at the end is from the very situation, a crowd of self concious public and an orchestra both looking at each other, not moving a muscle ... the coughs are even kept for the end. If they all sat there individually one at a time each one for 5 minutes, would they listen? would it be less of an experience? Would they appreciate it as much?
The presenters are 'good' .. to babble so long about nowt
I suppose the emotion at the end is from the very situation, a crowd of self concious public and an orchestra both looking at each other, not moving a muscle ... the coughs are even kept for the end. If they all sat there individually one at a time each one for 5 minutes, would they listen? would it be less of an experience? Would they appreciate it as much?
The presenters are 'good' .. to babble so long about nowt
It seems to me that there could be many reasons why an audience applauds. Perhaps they enjoyed the piece for it's artistic worth....or they all enjoyed the participation in a novel shared experience....but many times it seems that people applaud enthusiastically because they're glad it's over.
| : D |
Inek var or inecek var? When I was first learning Turkish I was trying to practice what I was learning in the classroom. This can be dangerous.
In the late 1970s in İstanbul I was in a crowded three-seater 1950s Chevrolet -- yes, it had the capacity to seat nine passengers! (Transportation has come a long way: the dolmuş -- shared taxi -- today seats many more much more comfortably and has air conditioning) I was sitting in the very back with my head bent forward, because in the very back seat if you were average height or taller you could not sit up straight. I knew we were approaching my destination, Şişli Square. I always dread having to shout to the driver that I want out, but this time if I wanted to get out I had to. I worked up the courage and shouted, Inek var! Boy, did I cause a commotion. Everybody was looking everywhere for the cow. I had said there is a cow! I should have said, İnecek var! (I would like to get out) Even back then -- nearly three decades ago -- you would not see a cow in Şişli.
http://www.turkishclass.com/forumTitle_20150
In the late 1970s in İstanbul I was in a crowded three-seater 1950s Chevrolet -- yes, it had the capacity to seat nine passengers! (Transportation has come a long way: the dolmuş -- shared taxi -- today seats many more much more comfortably and has air conditioning) I was sitting in the very back with my head bent forward, because in the very back seat if you were average height or taller you could not sit up straight. I knew we were approaching my destination, Şişli Square. I always dread having to shout to the driver that I want out, but this time if I wanted to get out I had to. I worked up the courage and shouted, Inek var! Boy, did I cause a commotion. Everybody was looking everywhere for the cow. I had said there is a cow! I should have said, İnecek var! (I would like to get out) Even back then -- nearly three decades ago -- you would not see a cow in Şişli.
http://www.turkishclass.com/forumTitle_20150
What does a wife say 25 yrs after marriage when she´s standing naked before a mirror and watching at herself ?
"Ha, he has deserved THAT!!"
A stranger sits in the airplane beside a small girl.
The stranger turns to her and says: ' Do we talk a little together? The flights passes faster if one talks. '
The small girl had just opened her book, now, however, it closed slowly and asks: ' What would you like to talk about ? '
' Oh, I do not know ', answers the stranger. ' How would it be about nuclear power? '
'OK,', she answers. ' This would be an interesting subject. However, you permit to me first a question: A horse, a cow and a roe deer eat all same stuff, namely grass. But the roe deer eliminates small globules, the cow a level round flat dough-cake, and the horse produces lump dry grass. Why do you think that this is so? '
The stranger thinks about it and says: ' I have no clue. '
The small girl answers to it: ' Do you feel really competent to talk about nuclear power if you not even know about shit? '
"Ha, he has deserved THAT!!"
A stranger sits in the airplane beside a small girl.
The stranger turns to her and says: ' Do we talk a little together? The flights passes faster if one talks. '
The small girl had just opened her book, now, however, it closed slowly and asks: ' What would you like to talk about ? '
' Oh, I do not know ', answers the stranger. ' How would it be about nuclear power? '
'OK,', she answers. ' This would be an interesting subject. However, you permit to me first a question: A horse, a cow and a roe deer eat all same stuff, namely grass. But the roe deer eliminates small globules, the cow a level round flat dough-cake, and the horse produces lump dry grass. Why do you think that this is so? '
The stranger thinks about it and says: ' I have no clue. '
The small girl answers to it: ' Do you feel really competent to talk about nuclear power if you not even know about shit? '
I was looking for some samples using an Audio Search engine (it comes up with all kinds of stuff).... I came across this page of Radio Parodies that might fit this corner of bandAMP : http://www.monstermixproductions.com/mp3_parodies/index.shtml
| New test for astronauts |
Also the NASA is not untroubled by worldwide economical measures.
That´s why they slimmed their technical equipement for centrifugal astronaut-tests. And it works
http://www.hans-wurst.net/video/experiment-mit-einem-laubpuster/
That´s why they slimmed their technical equipement for centrifugal astronaut-tests. And it works
http://www.hans-wurst.net/video/experiment-mit-einem-laubpuster/
| re: New test for astronauts |
ULI wrote…
Also the NASA is not untroubled by worldwide economical measures.
That´s why they slimmed their technical equipement for centrifugal astronaut-tests. And it works
http://www.hans-wurst.net/video/experiment-mit-einem-laubpuster/
I was sent one a few days ago ... http://www.theinspiration.com/2011/09/carlsberg-stunt-in-cinema/
| Blackmail |
It was coming up to Christmas and Sammy asked his mum if he could have a new guitar. So, she told him that the best idea would be to write to Santa Claus. But Sam, having just played a vital role in the school nativity play, said he would prefer to write to the baby Jesus. So his mum told him that would be fine.
Sam went to his room and wrote 'Dear Jesus, I have been a very good boy and would like to have a guitar for Christmas.' But he wasn't very happy when he read it over. So he decided to try again and this time he wrote 'Dear Jesus, I'm a good boy most o the time and would like a guitar for Christmas.' He read it back and wasn't happy with that one either. He tried a third version. 'Dear Jesus, I could be a good boy if I tried hard and especially if I had a new guitar.' He read that one too, but he still wasn't satisfied.
So, he decided to go out for a walk while he thought about a better approach. After a short time he passed a house with a small statue of the Virgin Mary in the front garden. He crept in, stuffed the statue under his coat, hurried home and hid it under the bed. Then he wrote this letter. 'Dear Jesus, If you want to see your mother again, you'd better send me a new guitar'
Sam went to his room and wrote 'Dear Jesus, I have been a very good boy and would like to have a guitar for Christmas.' But he wasn't very happy when he read it over. So he decided to try again and this time he wrote 'Dear Jesus, I'm a good boy most o the time and would like a guitar for Christmas.' He read it back and wasn't happy with that one either. He tried a third version. 'Dear Jesus, I could be a good boy if I tried hard and especially if I had a new guitar.' He read that one too, but he still wasn't satisfied.
So, he decided to go out for a walk while he thought about a better approach. After a short time he passed a house with a small statue of the Virgin Mary in the front garden. He crept in, stuffed the statue under his coat, hurried home and hid it under the bed. Then he wrote this letter. 'Dear Jesus, If you want to see your mother again, you'd better send me a new guitar'
Now I know , why. 
| re: Not so much nonsense ... more cool cos it Christmas |
Amazing! Thanks for sharing.....
| awesome |
another guitar sling fail.
| your new shopping car |
If you think about purchasing a new, handy city-car which doesn´t make any parking place problems, wherewith you don´t need to care about blocked streets in the rush hour ; a car making you the sovereign of the roads......................then,.......................then might this vehicle -a "Marauder"- be intresting for you.............
If your into words like I is, and if you look for meanings in dictionaries often then maybe knowing this link could .... enhance the experience ever so slightly .. http://www.urbandictionary.com/
I do think that us men of the world should silently but surly promote http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Steak%20and%20Blowjob%20Day&defid=533036
Another anecdote I have for those moments when I need a bit of a pick-me-up is visiting http://www.killmydaynow.com/2010/06/funny-pictures-of-fail-blog-part-1.html/
But be warned it is called Kill-my-day lol
I do think that us men of the world should silently but surly promote http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Steak%20and%20Blowjob%20Day&defid=533036
Another anecdote I have for those moments when I need a bit of a pick-me-up is visiting http://www.killmydaynow.com/2010/06/funny-pictures-of-fail-blog-part-1.html/
But be warned it is called Kill-my-day lol
This is a MUST SEE for anyone with a sense of humour
http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/2156241/457e920a/misheard_lyrics_.html
If anyone could tell me the name of the piece of music ... I thought that I used to know what it was called ... but alas tis gone
.. anyone ?
** It's ok I just used my nous and found out ... it's O Fortuna
http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/2156241/457e920a/misheard_lyrics_.html
If anyone could tell me the name of the piece of music ... I thought that I used to know what it was called ... but alas tis gone
.. anyone ?
** It's ok I just used my nous and found out ... it's O Fortuna
It just goes to prove that German humour is alive and kicking .....
(Not a youTube video) http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=119_1353067661&comments=1
... after all ....
(Not a youTube video) http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=119_1353067661&comments=1
... after all ....
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