Edit: Now I consider it incomplete work without the lead

Submitted the final video.




Just noticed that I look quite bored because I've heard this song for 100 times...
____________________________________________________________________________________

Edit: Smoothened ending break transition.
hmm I'm still not satisfied with the build up to the ending riff.

http://soundcloud.com/jiexian/15-to-5-alt-end
____________________________________________________________________________________

This version is much better than the firstone. Has a solid structure now and less annoying wild noise.
Like the stomping energy here.  John-Lee-Hooker-like.

What you could improve is the end. It seemed to be a bit "disorientated", "unorganised", "incoherent".
When you might give the ending a logical sense, this track is "round".

U.L.I.

much better!
but as ULI stated, you need a little break(down) then a (double)last riff and out.

Thanks, I showed this to my brother a few hours ago and he mentioned about the ending and the pitch and the transition to the second verse. I uploaded a new one and changed the ending a little and added a connecter before the second verses .

Let me know if it works, thanks again

It is rough it is raw it is tight it is right .... except for that break at 1:55 it kind of goes a walkies ... when it was so thumping and stomping
Good stuff though, like a led zep jam in the bar on Sunday
Pity your not confident enough to sing and vocally stomp along

what do you mean by "goes a walkies" Messy? Maybe I should just keep the same rhythm as I change the chords and break.

Man I'd really love to sing too but I'm not good enough.

A sample (sang off tempo during the first verse) http://soundcloud.com/jiexian/15-to-5-j-sing-overdub

Smoothened ending break transition. Let me know what you think.

I'm still considering cleaning up the build up to the ending riff.

thanks

It's finally done, just before the dateline.

http://youtu.be/1Zu3AU9cVfg

Just noticed that I look quite bored because I've heard this song for 100 times... the recording on my phone had  a flash of loud noise out of nowhere so I couldn't use it.

So how long have you been playing for?
You have worked at an amazing technique and your doing it well, but the break, that went walkies before now came out right in the flow of the song but you play your chords wrong ... looks like you could practice your basics
Best of luck with R.AGE

btw if you click the youtube button far right of the text box it will print the youtube tags in the text box. Put the video code only in between the tags and your video will show op on the page.     ; )

Thanks, getting the pitch right for slide is bloody difficult. My nails have been grinded by the strings that it looks really bad now. The "palm kick" technique was from a Japanese guy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpLVL7X4gOE

and the triplet strokes were from playing rumba flamenca.

Did you mean that the chord was too dissonant? the one that's just before the pause that's half step below the root? I like that sound though it's probabaly due to the arabic/turkish/Goran Bregovic etc stuff I listen to.

Edit: I've been playing for almost 8 years now. But I've just picked up slide (as you'd have noticed). I can't play anything else... concrete with it haha.