here's the first take (as usual) on a new song
the recording is pretty basic and rough so far but I will work on it later
let me know what you think

The song has a pretty good mix. Nice vocals. They are nice and clear. This has a classic sound to it. That's a good thing I would say. This is really nice Vince. Good work my friend

Flyer

will rate

This has a very Vince meets DePeche Mode feel to it,which I like :]
The vocals are stunning and I love the lyrics man.
My new favorite from you
The guitar is very crisp which adds a lot of emotion to this song,and your vocals also implement a lot of emotions also.
Love this!
Will rate

The vox and vocal melody are really nice Vincent. Would have been nice if you posted the lyrics.

I think you should add some harmonies in the chorus and if you can after a minute or so bring in some drums, plus raise the dynamics. just my opinion, but I'm sure it would add colour to the song.

As it stands, you have made a great start, nice to see you writing again.

Cheers

Denis

lyrics are here
https://forum.bandamp.org/Lyrics_Review/5530.html

Im really liking this ,sounds a bit pop rock in the beginning but as you keep going it takes a whole different color...Very much a hit to my ears...great melody writer you are!!The ssss sound get a bit sharp on my headphones!!But still a good over all recording!

fantastic melody.  The music really compliments the vocal.  You've got a really good songwriting ability, and a great command of the language.  Your melodies combined with your lyrics (all of them, though particularly these ones) really convey the mood with accurate precision.

there aren't many instrumental breaks in the composition right now.  It's simple, and I think it's perfect that way.  This is what I imagine for this song:  It would be really neat to have an full rhythm guitar add itself to the music at 2:41.  It could be a part played with the higher strings accented, so that it doesn't clash with what you already have written.  The vocals could either get more "excited" (if that makes sense) and a bit louder, maybe even a little higher, too.  (or, alternatively, you could try adding a second voice on top of the music along with the extra guitar at 2:41.)  I think it would give the song a great adrenaline-based feeling, as if you are spending your time explaining the atmosphere via the lyrics for a few minutes, but then you really find the emotion and sing out for that last chorus and the "over youooooooo" parts.

The last chord is nice, but I think that a different one might feel like a cleaner exit.  The chord is at the same as your final vocal note, so it doesn't really create a harmonic compliment that the rest of the song has.  I'm extremely bad with official chords, so I can't really suggest anything specific... Sorry :P

A great song!  This, along with your Turn to Grey song are my favourites from you so far!  (Your other work is also fantastic, though it doesn't fit my style as much as this one and Turn to Grey do.)

Excellent mood   Great potential!
Tim

I've played that song with a drummer the other night and electric guitar and it sounded ok I think it's the direction to take

very nice .................

i can imagine this with the band ..........and it works

fish

I agree with you fish this song needs a full band
That's why I thought it could be and idea for the Band amp band maybe
I will put a link on the band thread and see if anyone is interested
Thanks for all the comments anyway